


4) The Last First Kiss

by believeinlarrystylinson



Series: Just Friends...? [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Louis' kind of an ass at the end, M/M, No Smut, Sexual Confusion, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, and Harry doesnt understand, angstier than i thought it was, going to so oopsies, omg im so sorry, this turned out wayyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 20:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/believeinlarrystylinson/pseuds/believeinlarrystylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows if he kisses Harry now Harry's going to want more and Louis knows, fucking knows he shouldn't give it to him. But that look in Harry's eyes and the grip he has on Louis hips and the way he's pressing Louis into the balcony tells Louis he's not going to let up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4) The Last First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is really angst... Sowwy. But you get first kiss fluffiness for a little while and then it all kinds of goes to shit. And 2k words wtf? I wrote this all today, its horrible unbeta'd and idek. This is the first of many updates to come this week! I'm so excited, I know you guys probably hate me after you read this, but just know that it will get better. I don't like it when there's not a happy ending.

4) The Last First Kiss

"Fuck, Louis, it's so good to see you man." Harry says, wrapping his arm around Louis' waist and the other one wrapping around his head and pulling it full force into his chest. Louis felt the air being knocked out of his lungs, but he could care less because Harry was finally back here after a few weeks of separation and despite everything that had happened previously between the two of them, he really cared for Harry and missed him when he was gone. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and held him there for a while, neither of them saying anything, Harry rested his chin on top of Louis' head, rolling his eyes at the amused expressions of the other boys.

"Oi, get a room the lot of you." Zayn snickered at Niall's comment and Liam went in for a high five. Louis sighed heavily against Harry's chest and shoved Harry away from him, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Would you three please shut the fuck up for once?! I can't even hug my best friend now? Jesus, you're all infuriating!" Louis shouts and runs out of the room, towards the balcony. Harry watches as he leaves, jaw on the floor and arms still open. Liam starts to say something apologetic and Harry holds his hand up.

"I'll deal with you three later. Just.. Leave us alone for a bit, okay? You caused this and now you're going to let me fix it. Alone and without your extraneous opinions." Harry has his eyes squeezed shut, fist balled up in rage. He hears the three of them get up from the couch and when he finally hears the door click shut, his hands fly to his hair, tugging harshly on his curls. He doesn't know why the other boys joking about the two of them is getting to him so much. And then it hits him, and he's literally forced to accept it.

He likes Louis.

No , he loves Louis.

Harry's eyes fly open and suddenly it's really hard to breathe and the room is too small and too crowded even though he's the only one in it. It's closing in on him all too fast, the fact that he's fallen for Louis. He's suffocating and he's panicking because there's no fucking way-

"Louis." Harry gasps, and he's running fuck he's running out to the balcony where Louis' leaning over the edge, head in his hands and Harry grabs his hips and spins him around, pushing him up against the concrete wall. Louis gasps, hands on Harry's chest and they're close, really close.

"H-Harry. What are you do-" And then Louis' looking into Harry's eyes and fuck he realizes they're just as broken and needy as his probably are. The sight makes Louis' heart ache because there's no way.. He knows if he kisses Harry now Harry's going to want more and Louis knows, fucking knows he shouldn't give it to him. But that look in Harry's eyes and the grip he has on Louis hips and the way he's pressing Louis into the balcony tells Louis he's not going to let up. They stare at each other for a while, Louis' hands bunching Harry's shirt and Harry's thumbs lightly stroking the skin above Louis' belt. It's suprisingly calming for Harry, and he quite likes this. He can feel Louis' sweaty palms gripping his shirt and he's got his large hands spanning the weight of Harry's waist, and fuck fuck fuck, Harry realizes how close his hands really are. If he reaches them forward, then he's touching the cock he's fantasizes about pulsing in his hand so many times, and if he drags them behind, he's gripping Louis absolutely sinful arse that sashays sensually when Louis walks seemingly just to tease Harry. 

Harry meets Louis' eyes again, and Louis looks like a deer caught in the headlights because oh god, Harry's head is leaning down and he knows what those sinful lips are on a mission to do and Louis can't, he can't-

And Louis dodges Harry's head, collapsing into Harry's chest instead, heart racing, palms sweaty, and head reeling. It's so much, it's too much and he's overwhelmed because he still can't believe Harry's back from his break and is holding him this close. 

Harry chuckles at Louis' move reaching one hand up to stroke at his fringe, and Louis literally freezes up and whimpers into Harry's chest because its so intimate and sometimes Louis forgets how much Harry actually cares for him.

"It's just me Lou.. Just me." And Louis squeezes his eyes shut as Harry wraps his left arm around Louis' waist and the other is still in Louis' hair, stroking and petting lightly. And Louis can't handle this, he really can't, because half of him wants Harry to try again and not move out of the way and just wait for the feeling of Harry's mouth against him. But the other half has Eleanor's words on a repeating loop ringing in his heads, screaming for Louis to be reasonable here because the last thing he wants to do is fuck things up with Harry or to hurt him. But he wants it, so badly, and this internal battle is literally killing him from the inside out.

"I know." Louis whispers, eyes still squeezed shut because he knows the second Louis looks up at Harry and those soft yet piercing eyes and sees the disguised want there he's gonna break.

"Then trust me Lou. Don't be scared... Please. Trust me." Louis doesn't respond but lets out a broken dry sob against Harry's chest and Harry's pulling him impossibly closer. Louis can't he can't he can't he can't-

"Look at me." 

And Louis does and the moment he looks up, he breaks any sort of wall he had built up and any sort of resistance against Harry crumbles all at once. Harry's eyes flicker with something and is gone before Louis can figure out what it is. And then suddenly, too soon, Harry's head is dipping down again, thumbs reaching up to stroke Louis' defined cheekbones that are tinged pink from blushing and flushing so much, and Louis knots his hands harder into the front of Harry's shirt.

And then Louis mouth hangs open slightly and Harry's plump lips are right next to his, and they're breathing in each other and neither of them really want to move because the tension is perfect, delicious, and it's intoxicating Harry and he can feel his pulse thumping in his ear drums, and if the look in Louis' eyes is anything to go by, he's feeling the same want. It's the same feeling as last time. The same want, need, but this time.. This time it's a million times more intense because they're actually here and next to each other and Louis is completely surrounded by everything that's just Harry and he can't get enough of the feeling. Harry breathes in shakily again, and moves his hand so it's cupping the back of Louis' neck and his fingers are playing with the tuft of hair at the nape of his neck. He wraps his arm around Louis waist and tugs him forward suddenly, the space between them disappearing so they're completely matched up, chests pressing up against each other. Louis threads his hair through Harry's famous curls and Harry closes his eyes, humming softly as Louis just feels them, really. He twirls one around his finger just to see what it feels like, and a pang of jealousy shoots through as he lets his mind wonder how many people have been in his place. But Harry presses his lips to Louis' forehead, breath hot against him and Louis shudders. Harry's so close, so close and he whimpers softly when Harry's lips press a soft kiss again, but this time on the bridge of his nose and then he moves down to brush his nose against Harry's.

If the situation was any different, Louis would've giggled and blushed.

But the loving, caring gesture just makes Louis tighten his hold on Harry's curls, and Harry pulls back for another split second, just to look into Louis' scared but needy eyes one more time, and then he's pressing in closer again and this time Louis doesn't stop him.

And then fuck, Harry's lips are touching his and his whole body goes rigid.

All of Louis' self control flies out of the window.

There lips are barely even touching, they're just really breathing each ither's air, honestly, but it's intoxicating and Louis can't get enough of it and when Harry presses his lips further in, more firmly, Louis doesn't protest in the slightest.

Harry moans like a fucking porn star against Louis' lips, and Louis lets out a soft whimper at the noise, fingers tightening in Harry's curls as he threads both hands through the famous curls. Harry's hands slide down slowly along, and Louis skin feels like it's being lot on fire. Harry's large hands are placed intently on the small of his back and Louis' relishing in this feeling of being completely overwhelmed and surrendering to Harry. 

When Harry finally pulls away he detaches their lips and just leans his forehead against Louis' both of their eyes shut and panting heavily. Harry knows he's getting hard, and he hopes Louis is too, but right now his head is reeling and he still can't really believe that just happened.

Louis is really trying his hardest not to hyperventilate or have some sort of meltdown. His grip on Harry's curls has to be close to painful for him, but Louis' just so scared that if he lets go Harry will disappear and he'll wake up from the best dream he's ever had.

"...Harryharryharryharry..." Louis chanting his name and Harry chuckles lowly, pulling his forehead apart from Louis', and when Harry's arms slacken for a split second Louis' head snaps up, and Harry's expression turns to one of shock as Louis backs out of his embrace.

"No. Nonononono." Louis says running his hands through his hair. "No. No no NO!" And Harry's really scared at this point, reaching his arms out to touch Louis again and bring him closer, tell him it's okay, but Louis' shaking his head.

"No, Harry you don't understand. It's too much." Louis whispers as Harry steps closer, and Louis fights the urge to reach out and touch him again.

"What?" Harry asks, pained, and he didn't expect this to happen.

"I can't, Harry, you don't understand. I can't, we can't-" Harry shakes his head, curls flying out from his head.

"Why not, Lou? Why not? Were you just in it to get off?" Harry gasps, tears threatening to spill over. Surely Louis wasn't that heartless. Harry sees pain and shock ripple across Louis' features and Harry takes a huge step back from Louis. "You were weren't you. You just wanted my dick. I should've fucking know that you would back out as soon as you felt something." Louis' stunned silent at Harry's expression, pain and anger and even slight hatred and Louis feels nauseous.

"No. I would never do that to you Harry." Louis whispers, hands clenching and unclenching nervously at his sides.

"Then what is this Louis? What the fuck are we even doing?" Harry asks exasperatedly. 

"You don't understand it Harry! You accept yourself and who you are and the fact that you like dick and I haven't! I can't accept it! I don't know what I'm feeling Harry! I know I like you and all I want to do is hug and kiss you but I can't do that yet!" Louis blurts and Harry slaps a hand over his mouth and exhales loudly because oh my god.

"I knew you would hate me Harry! This wasn't meant to go this far! I started it and know I'm ending it!" Louis sobs, and shoves a shocked and still stunned Harry out of the way.

And he runs.

Louis runs, just like he's always done. He always runs away from everything that could mean something to him. He knows he does, and that doesn't make him stop. He runs to the other side of the hallway and bursts into his hotel room, locking the door and hoping all to God Harry left his room key in here. He's sobbing uncontrollably now, shaky sobs wrecking his whole body and he reaches for the phone and does the only thing he can think to do in this moment.

"Hello?" Louis cries out in relief.

"Mum? It's Lou. You have to help me."


End file.
